A definitive re-write

Is there really much else that can be said about M.D. Geist? It's an inglorious title of the direct-to-video animation market of 1980s Japan that has been regularly dug back up to play havoc on the anime community much like the titular character himself; he is less so on life support as he is a poltergeist, causing anime fans everywhere to groan with the racket he makes while a minority loyally support him. He's more than likely to keep coming back; in a way, if you love anime, you will hate M.D. Geist. If you hate anime, you may hate M.D. Geist, or you may love it! Though to be frank, generalisations are of poor taste. Japan's home video market for animation (Original Video Animation, OVAs) carries slightly more positive connotations than "direct-to-video" ever will in the west; the restrictions of TV serial anime were not to be found in the OVA market, which opened up far more doors for various creative forces, giving anyone the chance to do what they wanted without fear of censorship and with a strong target audience willing to buy, buy, buy. There was a bit less focus on the long-term money-making possibilties of a product and more of a focus on the overall creation process. OVAs allowed everyone on the production side to make a bit more money, even if the overall output in the long run was not entirely good. Regardless, pop stars and voice actors would keep themselves circulatory, while designers of any sort would give themselves more curriculum vitae ammunition.

M.D. Geist itself is a 40-minute outing by then-rookie Koichi Ohata, a mechanical designer first and a storyteller second, concerning the reawakening of a super-soldier on the war-torn planet Jerra. The proceeding events in Geist's misadventures on a planet much unlike the earth in Fist of the North Star feature commonplace mistreatings of the English language (frankly standard for anime) and acts of violence against the entire human form. The 'story' that was ultimately decided upon for the feature is really a springboard for Ohata to show off his drawings, animation is ropey throughout and fragmentary plot-expanding dialogue is ultimately bombastic and adds to the incoherence. Ohata, a man whose voice is unfortunately not often heard on the topic of his creations, said in the commentary of the thankfully fruitful US DVD that the original version of M.D. Geist is pretty damn poor, but hey, he was young and at the end of the day him and writer Riku Sanjo are still in the business, Hironobu Kageyama launched his singing career through appearing on the soundtrack to M.D. Geist and Norio Wakamoto walked away with a bit more money in his back pocket from voicing a character with not many lines. M.D. Geist's poor qualities stem from Ohata's youthful arrogance back then; his relatively low-budgeted animation team were often at odds with him over his mercilessly complex designs, which he refused to tone down because this project was his baby.

Geist is a product of a time long gone by in Japanese animation, and this is one reason why his popularity persists; if anything, Ohata created Geist to be antithetical, and antithetical he was. Appearing on a different end of the anime format spectrum for one, Geist was a protagonist designed to go against the grain of teenage heroes in shows coming out in the success of Mobile Suit Gundam, he was designed as being someone who took total glee in battle and the whole production has a somewhat nihilistic touch in that nothing nice EVER happens. However, we follow from Geist's side with his theme songs and background guitar solos highlighting his destruction. With this in mind, the overall unpolished quality of the production can be factored in as well. Being a representation of all of the above, the character and the title are now only more of an antithesis in today's anime industry, in which new fans have sprung up to defend Geist as someone and something fairly atypical of anime. Granted, there are still many naysayers, in which case, how has M.D. Geist's widely-known negative reception come to be? Aside from everything about it pissing off the highest elite of anime snobs from the 1990s, CPM's saturated promotion of the title is essentially what did people in. President John O'Donnell became infatuated with the title and it led to him licensing the character as his company's mascot for their U.S. Manga Corps division, meaning that every tape, Laserdisc and DVD under them greeted their viewers with a stiffly-animated CGI Geist The constant ballyhooing certainly garnered the title its interest as something new and exciting, but as time went on the propaganda became tedious, with great emphasis placed on how Geist was somehow a particularly artistic and deadly serious title, in reality it was a cartoon about a lot of people dying because the director thought his country had too many fictional lead heroes.

Without John O'Donnell though, the title would just be a relic dug up only by animation enthusiasts and regarded with a "hey, look at this" attitude. O'Donnell's love may have been for better or for worse, but through his actions he was able to publish a prequel comic to the original OVA and even gathered the money to fund a director's cut of the original and a sequel. The funds were raised from a customised Harley Davidson being bought off Marvel in their promotion of their Ghost Rider franchise and being used in motor shows to promote M.D. Geist and CPM; with "Geist" meaning 'ghost' in German, it was an amusing tactic. The director's cut touches up on several animation errors seen in the original (while rather frustratingly, inserting diabolical digital zooms that blur the image), adds several new short sequences and features an entirely new audio track. This cut doesn't so much add to the story (it slightly expands the opening sequence primarily, and in a flashback of stills draws a parallel to the prior prequel comic) as it does increase the gore quota. The sequel on the other hand, being made ten years after the original for one, is seemingly made with an entirely different mindset and focuses less on Geist, offering a fairly more serious and sombre story (that works to an extent), its biggest flaw however is that the animation in it is intensely limited. Regardless, despite what CPM had launched Geist into, their (or at least O'Donnell's) efforts have to be thanked for boosting the title's longevity.

Perhaps Geist is just unfortunate for being stuck in the harshly critical anime community, never entirely getting the dues he deserves. While the overall title is something very flawed it's not something I would regard with venom because of its bad qualities, nor would I really call it so "so bad it's good". However way you watch it though, all three animated incarnations of the character are entertaining, or at the very least feature some fantastic artwork and have incredibly good soundtracks, something which is oddly overlooked in many reviews of this anime. This writer would also like to stress that viewers perhaps try watching the director's cut and the sequel in the Japanese audio if possible; both of these audio tracks feature incredibly good VA work that has been sadly overlooked in favour of the 'entertaining' (to me, it's unbearably atrocious) English dub. Yeah, it makes it so bad it's good bla bla but the original production should be entertaining enough, so try enjoying it with the Japanese audio track. Ohata has been lucky getting the recognition he has gotten as a mechanical designer who began his career by working on some fairly unknown shows, and it's a damn shame he no longer seems to release things fully overseen by him. His fanbase is small, but dedicated; the fact that Ohata himself has seen a customised Revoltech figure of Geist is testament to this.

On that note, I have to come own the original title's soundtrack on vinyl, have framed the poster that came with it, I also own the OVA in book form, the Japanese complete works book, the UK and US DVDs, the sequel's soundtrack on CD, an autographed copy of the US graphic novel and the jewel in the obsessive crown would be two sketches of Geist himself signed by Ohata, with one of them sent to me by him. Writing my umpteenth take on the production is only further indication of my infatuation with this anomaly of an anime. If I had the option to fund Ohata for a full-fledged reboot of M.D. Geist though with the right money, you can beat your intestines I would.

Some trivia about M.D. Geist...
Those guys have names!
Believe it or not, the bikers have names. Aside from Mash, there is Golem, who Geist promptly kills, Gista who promptly dies on his motorcycle, and Beast, who possibly dies after hurtling off his bike when Geist jumps aboard a mech (he returns momentarily in the Director's Cut). Their names are all in the credits, but only Golem is referred to by name in the US comic, the rest are only named in production materials.

She also has a name!
And it's not "Vaiya", it's "Paiya". It's seems that for all this time, CPM mistakenly used the name Vaiya without correcting it. To be fair though, it's an easy mistake to make; the katakana characters for ba (what can be interchanged as 'va') and pa look similar but are not identical. A simple oversight is all, it's just that it persisted for so long.

At the same time, she doesn't have a name...
Just like the bikers, Paiya is never actually referred to by name in the original Japanese audio. If you listen closely, she is referred to as "nesan", which means "big sister". CPM tried to do the good thing by helping create familiarity by inserting her name anyway, but the truth is the only way you would be able to tell she was called Paiya is through the credits! On a similar note...

All the names of the 'big players' are from the horror genre
Geist is from poltergeist, Paiya is from vampire, Golem is from (what else?) golem, Crutes is the Japanese pronunication of the Spanish word cruz, which means cross, as in holy cross. The associations are obvious, but only Geist and Crutes actually have meaning, Paiya and Golem are mostly named that way for aesthetic value.

That also has a name
The robot Geist fights at the end is called the Final Striker, and manages to be referenced that in the concept art book and in the sequel. Interestingly, the CPM comic calls it the "Final Terminator".

Confusing credits
Ohata was never initially billed as the director M.D. Geist in 1986, that billing went to Hayato Ikeda, someone who seemed to help out with some of the production. His name was used as it was feared a first-time director (who was really a mechanical designer) would look bad. Hayato Ikedia makes a cameo in M.D. Geist, he is the President Ryan character, who is dead.


Further reading...

• Defending the Indefensible: In Defense of the Previously Undefended M.D. Geist
• The Truth About M.D. Geist

-James

The Humanoid

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of modern anime; the fascination I had with how anime was it all seemed so new, dark and more inspired in the 90s, it's something of a nostalgia trip. Hence why I prefer older anime in general, plenty of classics and nothing as embarrassing as the content that's pumped out today to feed the scary otaku stereotype of modern times. That's not to say all old anime was good though.

The Humanoid was shit, is shit and forever will be a load of shit, much like Roots Search, but I'll be damned if I let this festering piece of trite go to waste without giving it the attention it deserves, because it has a charm. Let it be known that there is nothing good about this OVA, but it's not like the bland title was an indicator of anything good, if anything it was something of a herald of the crap in store (ザ・ヒューマノイド 哀の惑星レザリア apparently translates to "The Humanoid: Sorrow of Planet Lazeria", a step fancier).

Opening up marvelously is a prologue text crawl that's done in the style of Star Wars, at least my ears have not been assaulted by obnoxious trumpets. This useless bit of exposition tells us that on the planet Lazeria, humans live alongside this race of people called the Megalosians, this plot point is pretty purposeless however as the Megalosians are pretty much just humans and the fact they're Princess is there is not touched upon at all, at best these people sound like an old genus of shark.

We're soon introduced to Alan, a guy whose intro tells us he may as well have been in charge of coffee commercialism because it's pretty clear throughout that he fucking loves coffee, enough to put it on a philosophical pedestal. Alan is part of the two-man crew of ship unknown with a mullet-toting guy called Eric, the two of them are bringing supplies back to a scientist called Dr. Watson who resides on Lazeria and Eric can't wait to see his girlfriend there.

Upon this, I'm attacked by what may be the most hilariously garish multi-colour title card ever with mundane footage set to the epitome of generically uninspired 80s pop songs with equally bland gratuitous English. We're introduced to more characters we'll never care for, it doesn't help that their designs are appallingly dull, with all the male characters looking as realistic as can be for this thing's artwork while all the girls have this Magical Girl look about them in which their eyes are unattractively huge. It's distracting and opposes the art style of the male characters, because it makes it feel like you're watching them in a separate world of exaggerated cartoon women. Oh, more coffee fetishism to end the scene.

After remarking like idiots at how temple ruins apparently shouldn't exist in the jungle, Alan and Eric are chased by fighter planes as they leave their ship as it plummets to make a crash landing, it's funny that one of the planes breaks its wing by hitting tree foliage. Meanwhile, some evil brooding asshole called Governor Proud reveals that he wants to dig up an old ship known as the Ixion to one of his ministers called Libero so he can use it to travel back to Planet Megalos, the bald old Libero tells him that last time he explored the ruins of this ship all life was destroyed in the area because of a disaster, even though he's still around to talk about it.

Alan and Eric eventually reach Dr. Watson's lab on foot and we finally meet Antoinette, the robotic star of this snoozefest. She's meant to develop human emotions and have a personality but she's really just pushed aside, also, there's quite a lot of bickering scenes between Eric and his girlfriend Sheri that hardly moves the plot at all.  

The next day, Alan and Eric leave to repair their crashed ship in the jungle. Eric, being a curious gimp, leaves to go check up on the ruins only to find they're occupied by General Proud's robot forces. He's taken prisoner, as is every other character in this because Proud is a dick and wants nothing to get in his way of re-activating the Ixion (which appears to literally be a load of blocks from these ruins). With this, it's up to Antoinette to save the day. Proud makes a getaway to the ruins of the Ixion with the two keys he needs to activate it. Unfortunately, the moment it is activated, all hell breaks loose and he dies, it's all up to Antoinette and the only good 80s song in this OVA to shut down the Ixion. Doing so (sadly, I guess) kills her, and all the characters who aren't dead go home. The thing ends with some poppycock read by Dr. Watson about how machines have life too.

It baffles the mind how so many OVA directors simply slipped up in telling a good story, but the odd 40-minute time frame that appeared to be the norm for these features must have definitely been a drawback. The Humanoid's story however, is a meandering mess that could have been a good tale of a robotic creation learning how to be human with it only to end in tragedy. It doesn't though, thanks to the very vague and incredibly sluggish plot, so Antoinette is essentially a side character. It's almost hilarious how Eric breaks into tears at Antoinette's death, as if we're meant to have accepted these two really knew each other when they hardly spent much time on screen together. Oh yeah, Antoinette cries somehow too. Proud himself is the stockest of stock villains complete with an evil cackle and a motivation that's never really explained other than to be a bitch for everyone else, the most compelling character in this is Alan with his coffee obsession. 

This one is not as outright atrocious as Roots Search, but it's near there. The artwork varies from being interesting to being overwhelmingly dull; none of the locations are intriguing or eye-catching, the shading and the mechanical designs are probably the best thing about this, and even then, the latter of the two still isn't very captivating. Antoinette is the best-looking thing in this, being designed by Hajime Sorayama of robot pin-up fame, whose art is generally excellent. There are a few moments in which the animation is smooth, but for the most part, it's incredibly rough. Colouring is never consistent, as the tints of scenes repeatedly change, much like the oppositional character designs, it's very distracting. Worse, you will often see black borders, largely at the top of the screen, where the animation cuts off with the badly adjusted framing, it reeks of sheer poor quality. The music excels in how average it is, with the song during Antoinette's final scene being the only good thing on the soundtrack, in fact, there's not even a lot of music in this, which would explain the apparent absence of any OST release (I actually found out there was one, interestingly it contains early artwork of its characters). The dub of this however, isn't too bad, but it's pretty much the only thing making it really good.

This thing apparently had the distinction of being "released for the first time in the UK" when it got its Region 2 release as if it was a good thing, it's also funny how the back states that footage of this anime was apparently used in Madonna's Drowned World tour, so I guess it got lucky to be used in such a way, too bad no one seems to remember it. Upon doing some digging, The Humanoid was actually pretty fortunate to get quite a few follow-up releases in the form of books, particularly art ones, I would strongly suspect this thing looked a lot better in its conceptual stages, as bad as it may be, at least it's still a good step above Roots Search.

• Mechanical design: 3/5
• Story: 1/5
• Coffee: 5/5 

-James, 12 December 2009 (original date)

Review source: US DVD
Screenshot source: US DVD

Archangel Thunderbird

Wondering where to watch this? Your only option is YouTube, as this thing is not available on DVD nor does it get reruns, it never has and never will. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & Part 4. 

This is truly something from the depths of obscurity, and never before has there been a beast such as crazy as this. Archangel Thunderbird was the first production Tony Luke ever made under his Renga Studios banner, until he turned it into Renga Media and produced Dominator, a film so insane it deserves to be known, whether you hate it or love it.

This 20-minute short was made to promote the launch of the Sci-Fi Channel in Europe in 1998 and it had record viewing figures, of course, no one remembers it, perhaps due to how it was never really promoted, or because it was an extremely low-budget one-off. Still, one has to ask, once the sight of this has been burned into someone's mind, how can they forget it?

With the first few minutes looking like something from a student film, people probably wouldn't be wrong in guessing that this short piece had a budget of no more than three or four figures; amateurish stop-motion action, laughably ancient CGI, green screen ahoy, and Doug Bradley being the only real name in this thing's cast. Despite my apparent harshness, I don't hate Archangel Thunderbird, it's just for the most part, totally unbelievable, in a way that makes you smirk. What's funny is that this probably would have looked acceptable as a 3DO or Sega CD FMV game, but it actually came out toward the end of the 90s; the style of it all is almost dazzling in a way.

Our plot involves a "renegade scientist" known as John Churchill (Doug Bradley) who discovers ancient texts prophesizing that doomsday will be spearheaded by pre-Christian otherworldly demons. Churchill has gone into hiding after the UN laughed his theories out the door, silly move in hindsight really, because shortly after, Earth was attacked by many giant demons led by the Lovecraftian Baal. Churchill has however assembled Doomshield, Earth's last hope, consisting of soldiers and scientists (a few extras carrying big guns and a guy in a labcoat with crazy hair), along with a very bondage friendly girl called Miki Manson being suspended by wires and tubes (played by Eileen Daly, the only other name in this who at least has some credentials, but I'm being mean). With new recruit Rob (Adrian Bunting, yes you haven't heard of him), who doesn't seem to do much other than turn on Miki, Churchill has Miki control something known as the Archangel Thunderbird, using pages from the Necronomicon, that allow her to shift through giant monster forms.

In all honesty, this is pretty much an accurate live-action depiction of anime; the incomphrehensible plot, insane dialogue, giant monsters killing each other, fetishized-women, and battles with garish special effects, especially when combined with the frenetic feel of the whole thing, and even right down to the inclusion of a cool little end credits song. This pretty much has all the makings of a one-off OVA, it just suffers from being a woefully low-budget live-action product, if it was an anime with money spent on it, it would probably be more well-known. The influence is definitely obvious, and this would probably be good too if it was a well-made kaiju/tokusatsu production.

Many are going to look at this and think it's the worst piece of anything under the sun among the several hundred other films they probably haven't seen yet (the easiest way to say you've seen the worst film ever is of course to just watch Twilight), I still find I have to applaud Tony Luke and his team for getting something as outrageous as this done without much help or without much money, the man may have turned out something really good if he actually did have the proper facilities. It's risible in more ways than one to many, understandably so, but it's a fascinating little hybrid of things, even if it is slightly difficult to watch at a few instances. The highlight of the whole thing are Yasushi Nirasawa's monster designs, which are fantastic as always. Their detailed stop-motion models are very cool, I only wonder where they are now. Also, it's not like Renga acted like they had made something incredible, which is good. I feel pretty mean ripping on such an innocent one-off, one that is not entirely scarce on imagination at all, it's really not all that bad, and if you love cheesy then you might find this is right for you.

I wish I could really extend this article, something like this just feels like it needs more coverage. Like Dominator, there's nothing else like this, and it's been extremely rare up to now, it demands to be watched just for the sheer insanity and novelty that such a thing was ever made.

• Being made on dirt: 4/5
• Insanity: 5/5
• Obscurity: 6/5

-James, 05 November 2009 (original date)

Review source: Original recording

Screenshout source: Original recording

Southern Cross

Super Dimensional Cavalry Southern Cross is one of those shows which seems to dwell in the greyest areas of anime limbo; The devout fans of the show are few and far between and its legacy as part of Carl Macek's legendary Robotech has given the show somewhat of a bad reputation. When I was an impressionable youth at the age of thirteen, Robotech for me was like a breath of fresh air in amongst my quickly dying interest in current television which still persists to this day. This could also explain why my taste in media is not very diverse. Admittedly, the Macross portion of the show was my personal favourite and I subsequently went on to adore its Japanese counterpart as well as the movie Do You Remember Love? which currently stands as one of my favourite animated films Japanese or not.

Despite the universal admiration of Macross, there was little if any fanfare for the middle portion of Robotech created from Southern Cross. In fact even in Japan, the show was a flop and only through Carl Macek's intervention the show had potential to be somewhat profitable. The history of Southern Cross is fragmented and sadly little information on the show has been published in and outside Japan, however I will do my best to explain its origins.

Southern Cross was released in 1984 and was the third instalment in the 'Super Dimensional' trilogy of TV shows (which are all unrelated apart from staff similarities), preceded by Macross and Orguss. It was the least successful of the three with low ratings making the show last a fraction of its original and much longer intended length at only 23 episodes. It was later adapted and edited as part of Robotech in 1985 as 'The Masters Saga' bridging the gap between the newly edited Macross and Mospeada story arcs. The unfortunate failure of this show remains somewhat of a mystery as their is next to no information on why it failed. Its a crying shame too, as I believe Southern Cross to possibly be the most misunderstood mecha show that was released in the 1980s.

The show takes place in the year 2120, mankind has colonized new planets in order to escape from an apocalyptic war that waged during the end of the 21st century. Leaving the Sol solar system, mankind now resides on two worlds known as Liberte and Gloire the latter planet being the setting for the show. Our main protagonists are individuals in the vast Glorian army of the Southern Cross as they face their first great adversary. An alien race known as the Zor prepare for a full scale invasion of Gloire in order to take back the planet of their birthplace which they themselves polluted originally. The main objective of the Zor as well as reclaiming the planet is obtaining a plant which is the race's power source known as the Protozor; despite being technologically advanced they are slowly dying both in a physical and psychological sense.

One of the things that right off the bat seperates Southern Cross from its contemporaries is that the most predominant protagonists in the show are strong willed military women. Firstly we have Jeanne Francaix a brash and reckless liutenant with a distinctive blonde afro. Throughout the series she grows and matures in character from a likeable if very abrasive girl into a capable and very much mature commander of her squad, the 15th Tactical Armoured Corps.

Secondly we have our resident tough chick with black mullet, Marie Angel once a former biker gang leader now ace fighter pilot. Right from the start of the show she rivals Jeanne in terms of power constantly teasing her ability to command. The most spirited of the three female protagonists, Marie never has quarrels in dealing with airborne alien foes nevermind her notoriety as a 'man-eater' (or Cosmo Amazon if you go by the show).
Thirdly we have duty-bound law enforcer Lana Isavia, another young woman but a high ranking officer in the Gloire Military Police. Defined very much as a no-nonsense spook, she regularly oversees much of the 15th squadron's activities particularly Jeanne and the two have a friendly relationship evern if their ideals however tend to clash on various occasions. Seeing as how distinctive hairstyles are the norm with these women, Lana sports gigantic, waist length blue hair (sometimes green on certain artwork) and a similarly dark uniform with red cape to boot.

The rest of the characters are mainly made up of the rest of Jeanne's budding squadron and tend to fit in with various mecha character archetypes. Firstly we have the youngest cadet Bowie Emerson who would have preferred to be a musician than forced into the military by his calculative father Rolf, one of the chief officers of the Southern Cross. Secondly we have our resident techie Louis Ducasse who comes complete with giant goggles. Charles De Etouard is the groups ladies man and Andrjz Slawski is the experienced, muscular giant of the group often being bewildered by Jeanne's actions.

Behind the scenes of the war with Rolf is the stubborn supreme commander of the Southern Cross, Claude Leon a man who would never risk giving up Gloire and wishes to annihilate the Zor at all costs. Later on in the show we are also introduced to a soldier hypnotized by the Zor and used for their own ends as a spy named Seifriet. He begins his role in the show as the main commander of the Zor mecha known as the Bioroids, interestingly enough his Bioroid colour is red similar to Char Aznable's Zaku in the original Mobile Suit Gundam which might have inspired the mecha designers. After failing numerous times in dealing with the Southern Cross, Seifriet is sent down to regain his former memories and infiltrate the planet unwillingly extracting data for the Zor commanders. After forming a close relationship with Jeanne, he eventually seeks revenge against the Zor for their experiments and endangering the Glorian populace. Along with Jeanne, Seifriet is undoubtedly the most developed character of the series and could be considered the show's tragic hero. Even though his purple glam rock hair will never be taken seriously.

In terms of the protagonist character development, Southern Cross is admittedly a little mixed in this regard. Jeanne, Marie and Lana are mostly well developed throughout the show playing off one another well. Each of them were for the time unique in that they were military women in control rather than on the sidelines catering to the male characters. In particular these characters grow in personality so that by the end they have become different people by the end of the conflict. Although Jeanne gets the spotlight more here than her rivals. The other characters while mostly on the side are interesting in how they react to Jeanne's actions even if some of the characters aren't very three dimensional. For example, Bowie as the youngest cadet over time seeks counsel with Jeanne in a relationship similar to that of two siblings. However along with the relationship between Jeanne and Seifriet, Rolf and Claude also form a rift in ideals. Rolf on one hand is a tired military general who wants to end the war without resorting to brute force and wishes to learn more about the Zor. On the other hand Claude believes that the protection of Gloire means the utter destruction of the Zor.

The Zor themselves also have a few main characters at their side, however I thought I would explain as to what makes them alien. In terms of design they are your standard humanoid aliens characterised by pale skin and odd coloured hairstyles; a common feature in most space opera anime. Their main distinction from the humans however is that each Zor has two clones of themselves and thus they act as a trinity; each Zor has a role within the trinity that if broken would cause a psychological collapse. These attributes are: decision, action and information. Firstly we have the Zor commanders who resemble elderly monks, they are unemotional and draconian ceasing to care about anything other than their races survival. The commanders also have various assistants that are mainly scientists once again striking odd designs and many of them are androgynous adding to the alien aesthetic. In fact as observed by the human characters, the Zor architecture is very much akin to a blend of alien cybernetics and ancient Rome right down to the various coliseums and civilian robes. Going back to the characters, the last main Zor character is a young, green-haired female named Musica who naturally has two identical sisters named Musiere and Muselle. As the name obviously implies, Musica is a musician for the Zor who at one point meets Bowie and falls madly in love with him creating an all important relationship between the Zor and the humans.

The overall design in Southern Cross is pretty unique as well as inspired and innovative. The mecha designs were created by a first-time studio called Ammonite who before only worked on television commercials; some of their concepts are interesting if pretty flawed in parts. For example, the Spartas hovertank is probably the best one of the bunch, transforming from a tank, to a gun emplacement and finally a robot form. The Spartas in general is like a futuristic chariot, bulky but by the same token articulate and powerful. However the lack of a cockpit for pilots has always puzzled me. Same can't be really said for the first few Space Corps fighters, the first type is just your average space fighter with no transformation and the other jet is the Logan which can only be described as a flying boat. It has a guardian mode but it looks incredibly goofy, later in the series it is replaced by the far better if also rather implausible space helicopter vehicle the Auroran. There are other mecha sprinkled throughout the armies of the Southern Cross such as reconnaissance mecha like the Salamander and GMP units which look similar to designs from Votoms and Gundam.

The Zor have less variants in mecha but their main mecha the Bioroids have various forms. Aesthetically as stated before they look not too dissimilar to biomechanical Zakus complete with bulging robo muscles and cockpits with breathing apparatus. They even come with a hoverboard for transport adding to their arsenal. As the show goes on especially towards the end, the Bioroids change models increasing their power and enhancing their pilots. Unlike human vehicles, bioroids are powered through their pilots transmitting their thoughts through the mecha's nervous system. The Zor also have pretty much one kind of ship, an enormous vessel which is like a mile long metal slab that is almost impenetrable as well as a magenta coloured bioroid carrier.

However arguably the best part of Southern Cross's design is the incredibly nifty and badass personal armours for the soldiers (also referred to as Arming Doublets). The army of the Southern Cross is split into several divisions from the Armoured Tank Corps, Space fighter pilots, Police officers and even marine troopers however many of the divisions outside of the main characters are rarely seen but can be found in a lot of related artwork. The armour comes across as a form of futuristic samurai uniform right down to the feudal looking headcrests and helmets on some of the outfits. Originally Southern Cross was supposed to be more of a space opera based in a futuristic version of feudal Japan so you can see where the inspirations for the personal armour came from, many of Southern Cross's more elaborate designs that were abandoned would be featured subsequently in Robotech art books based around the aborted series Robotech II: The Sentinels. As well as that some of Ammonite's work on Southern Cross and ideas for The Sentinels were also used in the Zillion anime series.

The character designs by Hiroyuki Kitazume (Gundam: Char's Counterattack) and Tomonori Kogawa (Ideon, Dunbine) once again are strange but well drawn and are memorable because of how odd some of them are. This can include Jeanne's puffy blonde afro, Marie's scruffy mullet and Lana's elegant blue wave of hair. Characters are decently proportioned so that like most good character designs kee p their shapes semi-realistic without being too lifelike nor too cartoony. No crazy post-2000 watermelon breasts here. The animation for an early 80's mecha show is mostly consistent in quality and in some parts looks rather smooth; out of the three shows that helped to create Robotech, Southern Cross was probably the best looking.
Now in terms of plot, Southern Cross is relatively slow moving; in fact this appears to be one of the main reasons why a lot of mecha fans have distanced themselves from the show. However I believe the slow pace actually helps the story rather than hinders it; this allows more room for the rather large cast of characters to be likable enough that you care for them. In fact one of the main reasons why I enjoyed Southern Cross was because of how likable the characters were and that there was far more emphasis on the planning behind the war rather than sacrifice the details for more action and fan service.

That does not mean that Southern Cross lacks action (there are several shower scenes in the early episodes aswell), as there is a decent amount and the last few episodes in particular have several large scale space fights. In terms of plotting and characters, Southern Cross actually bears many similarities to Mamoru Oshii's Patlabor in terms of laid-back but interesting characters as well as a ponderous yet intriguing story. 
Another reason why I found Southern Cross interesting was that while the show starts off with several comedic touches, the overall narrative becomes rather dark and dare I say bleak. Many of the battles in the show have massive body counts and as the story progresses, it is obvious that our protagonists are fighting a losing war against a dying yet technologically superior race.

However the main flaw of Southern Cross is quite simply it's length, particularly the ending. Now this is due to the show having low ratings to begin with and unfortunately leading to an early end. Because of this, certain plot points along characters are only expressed and explained in minor detail or analysed to quickly. Examples of this include the orgins of the Zor and Lana's relationship later on with a pilot named Brown. The ending which I admit felt rushed at points was not necessarily bad, more bittersweet than anything else. It was the kind of ending that while in some ways was satisfying, it's bleak atmosphere made me want to learn more about the fates of the characters (which in my eyes, is one of the signs of a good drama).

As stated before, Southern Cross was edited heavily in terms of plot in order to fit as the Masters Saga in the Robotech chronology. Apart from the standard name and sound changes, the overall plot was changed drastically to fit in resulting in numerous plot holes and quite frankly odd ideas. For example the character of Seifriet instead of a kidnapped human spy, is now a clone of the creator of Protoculture (see the Macross Saga part of Robotech) and Robotechnology known as Zor. The Zor are mainly referred in the Robotech chronology as both the Robotech Masters and Tirolians and come from a different planet altogether as Gloire in Robotech is considered to be Earth.

Many of these plot points clash with Southern Cross's animation which makes the narrative feel jumbled and confused. (While considered non-canon, the Robotech novels iron out a lot of the animation deficiencies). However a lot of the sombre atmosphere and well established charactes are still present in the Robotech version. The Southern Cross portion of Robotech in its animated form is a good transitional chapter however it does not hold up especially well on it's own. Even after that though, Southern Cross was used again by Carl Macek in 1986 when Cannon Films requested he would splice footage of the show with Megazone 23 Part 1 to create the rare and often hated Robotech: The Movie. But that's another story.

Little merchandise came out of the show in Japan apart from one artbook and a few model kits that are now growing fairly scarce; the Robotech toy line by Matchbox though did manage to have a small selection of the mecha including the Spartas and Bioroids. There has been no sequels or related OVAs produced after the original show. Only small continuations of the Robotech story with Southern Cross characters can be found, specifically some of the comics including the Invid War and Antarctic Press published series.

Even with all its flaws, Southern Cross is a show that I personally have a huge soft spot for. If I had the chance to finish one show that was canceled, it would be this one. The plot to me is one of the better and more engrossing examples in the medium; as well as that the characters and themes that run through were rather unconventional for the time and still hold up surprisingly well for me. At times for me the show even felt ahead of its time in its design and narrative execution. Like Macross, I even felt the romantic elements worked well with in the narrative too. Put simply it may not be a masterpiece, but to me is a misunderstood relic that begs to be rediscovered. I am not afraid to say it, I adore Southern Cross.

• Characters with funky hair: 4/5
• Transforming hovertanks: Badass
• Chances of otakus giving it another chance: Sadly not likely 

-Oli, 03 January 2010 (original date)

Review source: US DVD
Screenshout source: US DVD

Baoh

Shonen nowadays in anime fandom is certainly one of the most profitable, not to mention most popular genres in geekdom today. Whether its multi-coloured 'ninjas', glowing dudes with exploding tunics or teenagers with giant sword fetishes, watching men and women beat each other senseless for multiple episodes certainly has become a popular otaku's pastime.

Believe it or not though throughout the 1980's, Shonen was not the biggest genre in anime; very few of these titles were released in the West during this time, what little was released included the Fist of the North Star (Hokuto No Ken) movie and the Guyver OVA series. However perhaps one of the most obscure Shonen Jump properties licensed during the early days of anime fandom is the 1989 45 minute OVA Baoh - The Visitor, released by AnimEigo.

Baoh was adapted from a short-lived two volume series created by Hirohiko Araki from 1984 to 1985, who is most renowned for his long running series Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Upon watching Baoh, many older fans will notice a remarkable similarity in both design and story layout to Yoshiki Takaya's Guyver manga which actually began around the same time of 1985. While Baoh technically came first, there is no doubt that both properties bear a striking similarity. For example, both series follow protagonists who are infected by a parasite that controls the host and grants them great physical power; as well as that both stories deal with mega-corporations and their genetically altered creations hunting down our hero. Oh, not to mention both series contain ridiculous amounts of ingeniously gory deaths to boot. With that, let the macho mega-manliness commence...

We begin on an armoured train carrying a young man by the name of Ikuro Hashizawa, as the evil weapons corporation known as Doress experiments with his body. They implant him with a parasite known as Baoh granting him near immortality and the ability to transform into a powerful mutant, which also includes elbow swords of course. Doress also is hunting down the most mature looking nine year old girl (already I am worried where this is going) called Sumire, an escapee who happens to be...psychic. It appears to me that in the 1980s, if you were a young girl in Japanese animation you were either psychic or possible lolicon material. Twice in a row I have had this cliche, a drinking game is in order. Weirdly enough, Sumire also happens to have a pet which looks almost exactly the same as the fox-squirrel Teto from Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind; the only major difference is that the tail has the most rocking afro to which I will refer to it as Superfly.

The man behind all this dastardly mayhem is Dr. Kasuminome, coming off as a cross between the colonel from Akira and the roundest Kinder egg. Along for the ride is his blue bombshell of an assistant Sophine, played by late veteran voice actress Yo Inoue (Sayla Mass, Kanuka Clancy) and various lackeys which I will detail over the course of the story. Ikuro awakens with his science fiction bondage gear intact and along with Sumire, outwit their foes and escape. The maniacal doctor vows to eliminate the boy so that the outside world does not learn about the Baoh experiment; the next day, the two strike an awkwardly abrupt friendship as they share their origins and trade off ideas about what to do to outrun Doress' goons. I love how this all feels like I am suspecting a sudden romance to blossom despite the fact there is an eight year gap between our compatriots, we can live in hope.

Out of nowhere an assassin named 'No. 22' (hooray for lazy writing), guts Ikuro in the middle of the street; however Ikuro manages to slowly drag himself across the street to a nearby motorcycle and escapes.....while the assassin STANDS THERE, watches him and Sumire leave without even thinking about I don't know...chasing them? After reporting back to Doress HQ of his situation, No.22 eventually takes up the chase while another lackey known as Colonel Dordo (sounds a bit dirty) explains how he 'never misses his target.' Oh, he is so dead. We are also informed of Baoh's apparent only weakness: complete cremation of the host's corpse. Chance of that happening in this show = none. To add just a little bit more exposition and possible random animal violence, Dr. Kasuminome demonstrates the power of Baoh by implanting the parasite in a dog for a brief and gory battle against a tiger. Koichi Ohata would be so proud. The parasite turns out to be manufactured by Doress mainly to sell off to unknown military powers as a powerful biological weapon, such innovative and groundbreaking storytelling we have here.

Anyway, No.22 follows Ikuro and co. to an isolated convenience store where he promptly stabs Ikuro again, because it really stopped him the first time; after No.22 prepares to torch the poor guy, the blade starts rising out of Ikuro's rapidly pulsating chest and he starts to fully transform into what is called Baoh's 'Armed Phenomenon'. Because the words 'final' and 'form' just were not hardcore enough for this show. Ikuro successfully overtakes the fleeing assassin and melts the guys face by squeezing it, forcing him to crash into the building. Immediately afterwards, Dordo is sent out with an 'elite' military squad which naturally is eliminated by Baoh after leaving Sumire behind to be the damsel in distress. Here within the span of about one minute, we are introduced to many of Baoh's powers which include the aforementioned elbow swords (wonder where I have seen that before?) as well as spikes from his hair which melt your head; not to mention he can still squeeze your face dry. With the use of the electrifying hairdo technique he manages to scar Dordo enough so that we reveal his true identity.....a terminator? Cue Brad Fiedel music score. After acquiring Sumire, Dordo makes it certain to our hero that he will most definetly be back. Yep, my bad puns have run dry.

With his sheer tenacity Ikuro via the magic of jump cuts manages to climb the rock face below Doress headquarters not while partaking in the shortest fight ever with Dordo. Aw, he just wanted to say how totally badass his one armoured bullet was. Believe me, this OVA has the common courtesy to explain everything that is happening on screen like it's intended audience has no eyes. How did Ikuro manage to figure out where their headquarters is you're probably wondering, he followed Sumire's um..scent. I will leave you to think that through for a minute. Several cataclysmic head explosions later, we are introduced to yet another monstrosity by the name of Walken. Picture if Rambo joined the Village People and you'd get my drift. Walken is also revealed to be a Native American and is the most powerful psychic on earth. I think Lucifer from Angel Cop wants a word with you.

After Boah is cornered by Walken's 'Molecular Air Motion Wave' attack, he resorts to slicing off his left arm and flinging his right elbow sword into the burly psychic's head seemingly killing him. Remember that there is about ten minutes left so don't count on that. With Sumire saved by a blood-soaked kiss (quick someone find the peadophile general!) from Baoh they plan for a daring escape; however Walken is pretty miffed at this point as his full psychic power has been released from his torn bandana. I think this show actually has the record for the largest number of random plot points pulled straight out of cliche guidelines 101 I have ever seen. The now boggled Doctor along with Sophine attempt to escape in a pod but are abruptly delayed by Baoh's finishing blow to Walken and his sugar-induced fit involving the most obviously placed and pointed out laser gun ever. Oh and I forgot to mention Baoh has electricity running through it, go figure. Long story short, Baoh blows Walken away after the Doctor shouts the name of the finishing move like a fighting game announcer with both him and Sophine slain by falling stallactites. He has one last breath to utter a speech on how Baoh is the ULTIMATE WEAPON! naturally. The show ends with Ikuro being swept under by the wreckage of Doress HQ as it falls apart with Sumire yearning to see him again as a badass closing song plays.

I will happily admit that Baoh is arguably one of the most braindead animes I have ever seen, the film is full of stock characters with little to no personality save for some contrived exposition. Not to mention, the writing is so hammy and nonsencial it almost descends into self-parody with nearly every scene narrated by one character to fully get across that everything that is happening on screen is VERY IMPORTANT. The dub recorded by Coastal Carolina Sound Studios cranks up the campiness to new heights, the actors themselves don't act that badly but the way they overdramatise every line of dialouge means all dramatic tension is shot. This being a source of unintentional hilarity makes Baoh very entertaining for bad dub afficionados. Despite the derivative nature of the story, there is surprisingly a good deal to like about Baoh. While the typical 80's ultra-violence is as prevalent as ever here, the animation itself for the most part is surprisingly fluid for such an obscure release with some relatively detailed character designs to boot by Masayuki Yamaguchi (Doomed Megalopolis, Macross Plus). Baoh is good old fashioned 80's Shonen shlock with a near non-existent story, above average animation and character designs, bucketfuls of gore and jam packed with hilariously clunky exposistion. Director Hiroyuki Yokoyama went on to direct very few projects after Baoh, the most noticeable aspects of his resume include being a Unit Director on ZZ Gundam as well as Gundam 0080. Baoh is now one of AnimEigo's rarest out of print releases alongside Crusher Joe and Arcadia of My Youth so finding the DVD release at a decent price is going to be no easy feat. However online it is very easy to find and download through torrents. So if you tire of the current Shonen mayhem or are looking for dumb fun with out it being obnoxious, Baoh is certainly not a bad choice for the anime action junkie.

• Shonen cliches: The whole list
• Ripoff of Guyver? Oh, be quiet.
• Gratuitous nudity? Sadly no. 

-Oli, 25 August 2009 (original date)

Cybernetics Guardian

Having just come off the massive article that was G-Saviour, this one is going to be short and sweet, though I'd honestly love to make it longer.

The title of this OVA is actually Seijuki Cyguard/聖獣機サイガード, "Seijuki" meaning "Holy Beast", the "Cybernetics Guardian" part is actually a subtitle stuck on the Japanese release explaining the abbreviation. For whatever reason it became the name of the OVA when released outside of Japan, for this article it will simply be called Cyguard.

Make no mistake, Cyguard, like many 80s OVAs, is as braindead as they come (just not to the same excessive lows as Roots Search), but for that reason, it's a pretty harmless display of violence and sci-fi, the general norm of 80s OVAs, though it's not bad at all. This is one that I think is quite underrated, being the second directorial feature of Koichi Ohata, the man who will forever be notorious for angering anime fans everywhere with M.D. Geist (<3), it seems to have a bit of a negative rep against it. Being released in 1989, three years after M.D. Geist, it's a polished improvement, but not without a few faults. Most importantly though, it's entertaining, doesn't play itself up to be any bigger than it is, and delivers on being an enjoyable watch, it's just a shame this title isn't as well known.

Taking place in 2019 A.D. in the city of Cyberwood (a city that is as literal as its name makes it out to be, though it honestly looks good), a new material has been discovered (back in 1995 no less), known as Astenite, which absorbs human psycho-wave energy and is greatly beneficial when infused with technology, so things like medical treatment have greatly improved. SGC ("Central Guard Company", but oh well, Engrish prevails, I'm surprised the dub didn't alter this to something like "Sentry"), the primary user of Astenite technology has been able to harness the instinct to survive as physical energy.

John Stalker of SGC is testing the Astenite Guardian, a mechanical suit designed by his girlfriend Leyla, which will perform bloodless and non-violent arrests on the citizens of the city's slum sector, Cancer (DEEP SYMBOLISM). Rival Adler, a rich snob with crazy purple hair (if you couldn't tell he was the villain from his pale skin tone and unusual name, then you're pretty stupid) just wants to kill all the violent paupers. With that as his motive, he has hired a cult to use their supernatural forces to deal with John; his suit is exploded while he is in it. Fortunately, John gets off with only being hospitalised with a few burns while Adler is furious about how he never died; in the night though, John is kidnapped by members of the cult, which gains the attention of a rough cop named Gordon.     

Gordon drops a tip off to Adler and Leyla that John is somewhere in Cancer, Adler believes there's no hope for him, but when Leyla shows that she's confident he's alive and tells him he grew up in Cancer, Adler makes his way down there in shock; he made the grave mistake of asking the cult of Doldo to deal with John and Astenite Guardian, the same cult who implanted the "seeds of evil" into John and several other children, in hopes of one day being able to awake their god of violence and destruction, Saldo. These other people however have consequently died, and John seems to be the cult's last choice, so Adler has ultimately led them to him by asking them to dispose of him, instead they landed him in a place in which he's easy pickings. Adler, being the ignorant sod he is, just wants to kill John for coming from Cancer; he fails to, as John has already inherited the entity of Saldo and is now going on a rampage, while Leyla must find a way to purify him before Adler can go all out with a weapon of his, the "Genocyber".

The plot thankfully does not feel jammed together though certain things are not so obvious at first, its biggest downfall is that it is paced so that the silver-armoured "pure" Saldo starring on the box does not get a lot of screen time, instead we mostly see John in the evil version of the armour; granted, this is just as entertaining, but it still would have been nice to see more of the abilities of the pure armour. It feels as if the whole thing is really setting up for a bigger story (as the ending heavily hints toward), but unfortunatley, Cyguard never got a follow up (if Geist got one, this surely could have too, but alas). There really isn't a lot of characterization but that doesn't harm it too much, especially as this is a one-shot OVA. If this was a full series, I would have liked to have seen the characters be more devloped, particularly the cop character Gordon, just because he seems so cool. Despite this, Cyguard is an entertaining 40 minutes of violence, nicely original character designs, some superb art direction and smooth animation; much like the original M.D. Geist, there are some fantastic mechanical designs at work here, the Saldo armour is brilliant. The dub isn't too bad, there's nothing great but there's a few decent performances, I'm just glad it's not as bad as the dub in M.D. Geist II: Death Force. There's quite a funny scene of a mayor during his campaign in this, in which he gives quite a blatantly ridiculous talk of how Cancer needs love, only to his have head torn off.

While there unfortunately was no sequel, a model kit of the pure Saldo armour was sold in Japan. Also, this review cannot be ended without mention being made of its music; Cyguard features a gloriously awesome, 80s heavy metal soundtrack by Trash Gang that sounds utterly fantastic, I had to buy their album. I'm pained to say though it appears to be their only work, even though there is a song in the OVA that does not appear on the album, as it's some truly great metal material, I can only hope they formed into some other band. Additional music in Cyguard sounds pretty good too, but it looks like none of it was ever released. It's a shame there's not a lot on this OVA, it should really be recommend to fans of cyberpunk and anyone just looking for a quick, enjoyable title.

• Mechanical design: 4/5
• Heavy Metal: 5/5
• Strikingly obvious symbolism: Yes we get Cancer is a shithole Mr. Ohata

Roots Search

Rip-offs, if you pardon the bad pun, are certainly nothing new. During the 1980s, cash-ins on action as well as science-fiction blockbusters were certainly very common; many b-movie directors from across the globe have always sought to show their 'original' take on a well-trodden story or popular idea. While live-action movies have their plethora of blatant knock-offs, animation has for the most part been spared of such ideals. Instead many directors chose to inspire their work from other sources. In particular, Japan has borrowed many story and design ideas from series and movies from America and vice versa. Take for example how the mega-popular OVA series Bubblegum Crisis borrowed the artistic design and the dystopic atmosphere whole-heartedly from cyberpunk tales like Blade Runner; however that series along with many others of the same ilk have built around those foundations with new ideas and elements that feel less like they are trying to cash in and more like they care about creating a new world that defines a genre rather than adhere to tired formulas.

Unfortunately, in the case of Roots Search - Life Devourer X/ルーツ・サーチ 食心物体Ｘ, its prime directive was to be a total ripoff of the 1979 movie Alien. Believe me when I say that this 45 minute OVA from 1986 (the year that also brought us the infamous M.D. Geist) truly is a standout piece of derivative dreck.

However before we delve into the show itself, lets have a quick look at the front cover for the tape this was originally released on. An otherworldly, ominous looking oil painting of a woman sleeping in a Gigeresque cryogenic container resembling a Space Jockey. Of course, the artwork has absolutely no relevance to the show and even the title bears little connection. Roots Search? Perhaps its delving back into the roots of civilization? Bah-dum-tish. Funnily enough the blood red title font as it dissolves into space reminds me of a horrible skid mark left in a public bathroom; a sign of things to come perhaps?

Roots Search takes place in outer space aboard the Tolmeckius Research Center where the barebones crew of three experiments on our main character, a girl by the name of Moira. Despite her appearence coming off like an 11 year old's first attempt at drawing a Toshiro Hirano character, she with little to no explanation turns out to have psychic or 'ESP' powers and with the power of fantasy cliches is able to see into the future; including a sneak peek at the possible gruesome fates that her crew may just face at the hands of a possible plot device. The three other characters include Scott, a scientist with a rather creepy and underdeveloped attraction to Moira. Marcus whos facial hair is so grizzled I half expected him to have a secret job at the Daily Bugle and a pudgy technician by the name of Norman.

After a small out of control ship known as the 'Green Planet' warps dangerously close to the research station, an investigation is sent out to find possible casualties. Unsurprisingly all of the crew are discovered dead at the scene apart from one man. Soon after, Norman discovers a comatose alien seemingly dormant onboard the 'Green Planet'. Funny how there is absolutely no build up to the appearence of the alien, possibly because the design of this monster is so dire and laughable. Imagine if the Creature from the Black Lagoon was draped in a wet bed sheet. After Marcus has a hissy fit about the alien possibly killing off most of the Green Planet's crew, he heads to his quarters where his mind is psychically assaulted by the creature presenting itself as a Dr Wily lookalike named Raymond blaming him for his suicide and subsequently impaling him onto the ceiling with sharp slabs of the wall which literally appear out of nowhere. Riveting.

After that hilariously unconvincing death we cut back to the surviving member of the Green Planet awaking to the delight of Moira who soon discovers along with Scott, Marcus' corpse draped on the ceiling. Scott however isn't phased and quickly kills the mood: 'That's too gory for a young woman to have to see.' Cue awkward philosophising by Moira about the meaning of life and death; because in space no one can hear you preach. Soon after that, Scott and Norman are systematically killed off in more poorly constructed and animated demises (mainly comprised of strobe lights and dull past visions)  by the alien's psychic power. These visions are mainly designed as a means of ham-handedly developing the characters but instead feels futile and ends up as just another way to add extra padding to such a barebones story. Our last remaining male, the survivor Buzz explains to Moira how the alien invades peoples minds and kills them despite the fact I am sure the audience figured that out ten minutes previously. Moira reluctantly believes Buzz's idea explaining that: 'Even if it turns out you're an alien, I believe what you said.' Do I sense a contrived romance coming on?
The alien starts to contaminate the ship by way of spreading tentacles which resemble gelatinous coffee stains mixed with fruit loops trying to ensnare our protagonists claiming that 'In the name of God, I will kill all you humans.' Yes, it talks. Perhaps the alien came from the Nicolas Cage school of prophesising. After an out-of-the blue smooch, we cut to Moira and Buzz frolicking naked (?) through a field intertwined with them attempting to escape before the ship transforms into a throbbing tumour. The OVA does not even have a real ending per se as Moira and Buzz wake up after an explosion still onboard the crippled ship as they announce hand in hand that they will escape no matter what........uh what was the point of this show then? Anti-climax thy name is Roots Search.

So if the glacially paced plot, phony philosophising and the one dimensional characters haven't bored you to tears yet, the animation of this OVA will have your fingers clawing out your eyes. Low frame rates, awkward proportions, and downright ugly character designs obviously show the inexperience of the crew behind this pointless exercise in clumsy storytelling. Even the minimalist musical score sounds like a cheap keyboard banged on by a hyperactive four year old. As with many shlocky OVAs of the 80s, Roots Search's staff was a cavalcade of mediocrity and wasted talent from the get go; character designs by Sanae Kobayashi (Crystal Triangle), writer Michiru Shimada who would later pen Urusei Yatsura and animation director Hiroshi Negishi (Bounty Dog, Suikoden Demon Century). Lastly, this was the directorial debut of Hisashi Sugai who would later go on to create such enduring classics as 'Sweet bugger all else.'

Thankfully, Roots Search has since faded into obscurity along with many others of Central Park Media's 'one hit wonders'. However the soundtrack on vinyl has a wonderfully Engrish song title: 'Scratch My Breast.' After watching this OVA I can safefully say I am scratching my head in shame that this was licensed by a distributor let alone released in its current state.

• Lame-ass alien design: 4/5
• Philosophising for Dummies: 4/5
• Unsolved ending: Off the scale. 

-Oli, 13 August 2009 (original date)