Sunday, 29 May 2011

Super Powerful Man

There are no words…

There are simply no words that could accurately put across the hate I have for this abomination.

Despite what certain sources say, I refuse to acknowledge that this, is any way, shape or form, some kind of sequel to any incarnation of Riki-Oh, specifically the movie. I’m thankful that the characters in this film actually have completely different names because if they were named after Riki-Oh characters, I would be furious. You know what? I ripped on the second anime OVA, Child of Destruction, for being a piece of shit, I would take it over this in a flash and enjoy every minute of it, because at least it’s Riki-Oh, proper Riki-Oh.

Alright, Super Powerful Man (or Dint King Inside King, whatever that means, probably a bad translation) appears to be loosely based off the second story arc of the Riki-Oh manga in which he leaves the prison to find out about his lost brother. To be fair, I did not see this with English subtitles, as frankly, no subtitled bootlegs exist, so I was not entirely sure what was going on. Plus, I hate his movie so much that I don’t even want to re-watch to recall everything that happens. Assuming this takes place in the same location as the second story arc, a dictator (who I guess is Washizaki but I refuse to compare him to such a great villain, so instead I’ll just call him Captain Dick, also he fucking loves tracksuit bottoms, because those scream pure class right?) creates havoc for some people living there by dispatching three very fruity assassins to kill innocents. A baby who is meant to be Riki-Oh I guess (I know he’s apparently called He-Shen in this, so I’m sticking with that, though personally, calling characters by their given names in this is too dignifying for it) survives because he’s locked away, I really don’t know how he gets out or anything. Also, judging from this movie’s (long) prologue, it apparently takes place in the far future and global warming has fucked up the earth, just like in Riki-Oh, though you could never tell in this piece of crap, because everything has been filmed on a bright sunny day with nothing to give you the hint that this is the grim future. It should be noted that the prologue is much fancier than anything in the film because of all the stock CGI in it.

Time skip, and Captain Dick (assuming it’s him still) has created a cyborg that, I swear to god, goes round fucking women consensually. Also, because there’s absolutely no budget to show that this guy is a cyborg, he just looks like any old human. In the middle of all this, He-Shen is all grown up and has way too many lovey dovey moments with his girlfriend (who is called “Lala” if my ears are hearing the Chinese correctly). For a long time nothing really happens, our protagonist doesn’t even fight until thirty minutes into the movie! By the way, it’s even harder to discern what’s going on in this thing because of how few sets there are; everything seems to be shot on one big, vague location. He-Shen seems to look up to some professor as a father who pushes him through bizarre training that presumably gives him his superhuman strength (because of the non-existent budget, this guy doesn’t do a single feat like Riki-Oh can).

The three fruity assassins from the start are back and randomly kill some scientists, so He-Shen goes batshit and kills all of three of them. The cyborg, after fucking enough women and reading enough porn, goes to fight He-Shen because He-Shen presumably killed his friends. More drama happens between He-Shen and Lala and other characters that I can’t understand, the professor who He-Shen looks up to seems to be dying, he dies, as does some old woman. He-Shen fights dozens of henchmen who look more like film crew members carrying whisks, he fights and kills the cyborg, and then he fights and kills Captain Dick.

Apparently the plot of this all the time was that Captain Dick forced the old professor to train an army of super fighters, He-Shen was trained the same way and is the strongest of them all. So assassins are dispatched to try and eliminate He-Shen, but to no success, so Captain Dick sends out his foster son, the “God of War”, (I’ve called him Cyborg but I doubt he even is, I only called him that because I adamantly thought he was meant to this robot character from Riki-Oh), who has been fighting over He-Shen for the love of Lala for some time now.

I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking that I’m being really ignorant because I have no idea what’s going on and that I should only judge this if I had it with subtitles. I agree, but I doubt it would make this movie any better, because this is a truly bad movie! For what is trying to pass itself off as a sequel to Riki-Oh: Story of Ricky, there is not an ounce of gore in this piece of shit! No, I am not counting the blood the characters sometimes spit from their mouths! That doesn’t amount to anything! There is absolutely nothing in this that convinces me that this takes place in a dystopian future, and the Final Cut Pro special effects are abysmal. I just can’t believe this thing has the balls to consider itself a Riki-Oh sequel, loosely base itself off it and even go so far as to the cast the same actor who played him and even give him the character’s signature camouflage poncho! This movie has been shot with the utmost amateur skill as there are more Dutch angles here than in Battlefield Earth (probably an exaggeration because this thing angered me so much), but at least it doesn’t use any obnoxious slow-mo (though any actual slow-mo in this is just poorly done). Fight scenes are a little interesting but get boring quick and just look really silly in a lot of instances (fuck me I gave it some praise?). The music though is just unnoticeable, feeling incredibly stock; it makes Story of Ricky’s music sound good (EDIT: All the music is stolen from the anime Super Dimension Fortress Macross!).

Oh yeah, after learning about the actual plot of this, I figured that even if I knew what the characters were saying, I’d still find it incredibly crappy, there’s way too many talky sequences that go on for ages that are just there to establish “HE-SHEN LOVES LALA”, “CYBORG FUCKS WOMEN BUT LIKES LALA TOO”, “CAPTAIN DICK TALKS ABOUT HIS LIFE”. This was the director’s first movie and he has not made another movie since, and this was apparently the writer’s last film.

I really should give this thing more time and talk about it more, but I really don’t care, I hated everything I saw. I will however, expose this thing to the world because no one outside of China seems to have seen it.
Just so you know, what you're reading in this paragraph is new writing as of the 28th of May 2010, I originally wrote this article months ago but had to put it on hold, for a while I decided it was incomplete. After giving this a re-read and taking into consideration about what the movie it is, I feel like it doesn't need any new additions, because Super Powerful Man is quite simply fucking bad, and you can watch it if you wish.

-James is fuckin' pissed off, 28 May 2010 (original date)

Review source: Chinese DVD
Screenshot source: Chinese DVD

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